Sci-Fi Channel Original: Raptor Island

You need to have a certain mind set to sit down and waste your Saturday night with a Sci-fi original. Not much can be expected since the cable network manages to premiere a new one almost every week. Even though it's hard to believe, these movies continue on a downward spiral, one that could hardly go down any lower after tonight's bomb, "Raptor Island." A Chinese-manned plane goes down on an uncharted island 40-years ago. Now in present day, a terrorist group has the eye of a Navy Seal team. After blowing up their boat, the Seals team follows them to the island that happens to have some radioactive residents. To go along with the dinosaur issue, an active volcano is also having some problems and is prone to go off any minute. It's a race to get off the island in anyway possible before either the natives or volcano take them out. "Raptor Island" is a new breed of bad movie. This is a movie so incomprehensible, you'll sit dumfounded for the entire running time. Lorenzo Lamas is the only recognizable name on the roster and the raptors are so laughable, any attempt at tension turns into comedy. Supposedly intelligent animals, the raptors as portrayed here are easily the dumbest movie monsters of all time. The films most hilarious scene comes just after the half-hour mark. The raptors, having just finished off one of the terrorists, begin their feast. The Seals team sneaks up behind them, pouring ammo rounds into their backside. The mutated dinos never even so much as flinch as the bullets continually produce hilariously animated blood spurts while they finish their meals. One of their own finally collapses from the onslaught, which finally triggers something in their feeble minds to get the hell out of there. Almost everything here was created with CG. From the warships to the long shots of the island itself, everything is shown as if in some unentertaining arcade game. The director tries to add some style to the proceedings by using the "shaky" camera, done so well in Saving Private Ryan. Here, it makes absolutely no sense. Not only is it disorienting, but when everyone is standing still, there is absolutely no need for it. You can literally go on for hours about the films mistakes and obvious flaws. The ending is so foreshadowed throughout the running time, you don't even have to watch the final half-hour (maybe even the final hour) to know what happens. Some of the raptors take 50 rounds to go down, some take three. Why exactly did some radioactive material spawn raptors again? No one seen or figured out an extinct species was alive and well for forty years? If nothing else is on the island, what did they eat before humans made landfall? I can't imagine that the Sci-Fi channel actually makes money on films like this, yet they continually put junk like this out and even run marathons of this stuff. For every mildly entertaining film they produce, there are at least three just like "Raptor Island." No matter how cool the ads or the premise sound, you just have to avoid the temptation of tuning in. It's the only way to stop it.

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