Breaking Windows

11. Naming your children “strong” user names like Fr3d to prevent identity theft 10. Patching your roof as many times as you patch Windows before replacing it 9. Using your flowchart skills to increase the speed at which your spouse prepares for a night on the town 8. Suggesting route optimization to the local mail carrier 7. Using Kronos to schedule your bathroom breaks 6. Creating a secure tunnel directly from the beer tap to your stomach, especially while load balancing between taps 5. Referring to your spouse’s new haircut as an upgrade 4. Asking your mechanic the cost of consolidating parts from older family cars into a single upgrade 3. Employing a hot-swap protocol when experiencing difficulties with your spouse 2. Applying a firmware upgrade to your toaster 1. Stringing your Christmas lights the same way you string Ethernet Thanks for the email Max!