How NOT to hook up a router

Long, long story follows.

Here's the situation: We've been having some connection issues for about week. It just seems to drop randomly. We had a service call set up to check the line last Tuesday, but I had to have some injections done in my back at a moments notice and we had to cancel.

It hasn't been so bad until this morning when every few minutes it would just lose it. So, about 10 am the first call went to Buckeye Express to ask them the problem. She diagnosed a problem on the line and set up another service call, oddly, for Tuesday. Well, that really isn't acceptable so after an hour of dealing with it, my mom called. She was told to do a slew of stuff like adjusting settings and other assorted things in Windows.

After that call, we couldn't get on at all. We call back and are told we simply need a new router. We really don't think it's the router, but off to Best Buy to go, and this is about 2 pm. $50 later, we have our new router, same exact one we had before, a D-Link. After mom hooks this up (she's the wire connector/disconnector person, I'm the "call tech support" person), we still have nothing. We call Buckeye again, they tell us the modem is communicating to the router, we just can't establish a connection. They tell us to call D-Link.

Yep, here we go. The first woman was British. Her accent wasn't too bad, yet she couldn't get us to the neccesary setup on my moms PC. She told us to turn off any firewalls/virus scan/background stuff and call back. After doing that, I still couldn't do it. However, I managed to get there through my laptop. I did the basic set up by myself with no luck. I figured at this point it could be the ethernet cable, so we switched it out with the one that came with the router. No luck.

Back to D-Link. This time I ended up with a woman that barely spoke English and likely hails from some country I cant spell let alone pronounce. She took me through the setup a little more detailed than I had done, told us to restart, and we'd be set. I hang up, we restart, we have no connection.

Back to Buckeye. They refuse to help since the modem itself is working (and it is; a direct connection works). We either deal with D-Link or pay a $150 for them to come out and install their own router. That's not going to happen. It's about 5/5:30 at this point. We're out of options. Time to call Ken.

He did a damn fine job of giving us options, but we need our IP address. It's not in any of the documentation, so I call Buckeye... again. They refuse to give it to me. Why? I have no idea, but he pulled one from the modem when we directly connected my moms PC to the modem. This is the breaking point. We all have some work we need to get done and sent, it's closing in on 7 o'clock. While contemplating whether or not it's worth a $150, we go through the obvious. The conversation went somewhat like this:

"Are you sure the modem is attached to the router in the WAN port?" (points to port on old router)

"Oh yeah."

So, as I sit in the chair thinking about any other options we have, my mom fumbles with the cords and bursts out in laughter. Yes, that's what she did. Through all of this, she failed to realize the WAN port on the router was going to the back of her computer.

Four hours. Four long, brutal, frustrating hours. One god damned cord.

For the record, the first router was, in actuality, going bad. We needed a new one. When she hooked the new one up, cords must've got mixed up, or it may have been when I suggested to switch the cable out with the new one. So, to the five people at Buckeye Express, the two people in some country not on a map at D-Link, and Ken, thank you for trying every possible solution, but someone along the line probably should of just said "You're stupid" and it may have clicked.

Comments (1)

Ben:

Anytime you want someone to call you stupid - give me an email, I will be only too happy to help.

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