The Fallen Ones Sci-Fi Channel Original Review

With a title like the Fallen Ones, you're probably expecting a documentary on World War II. Maybe you're imagining a movie about past and deceased baseball players. Would you guess it's a movie about a 42-foot tall mummy that eats people? Could you possibly guess it's the best 42-foot mummy that eats people movie ever? Well, it is, and even if it doesn't sound like it, that means something.

The difference between this and the other Sci-Fi Channel dreck is that it knows it's ridiculous. It has a sense of humor about itself and runs with it. The only thing it's missing is some pacing to keep it moving.

Laughs are both intentional and unintentional. The opening moments are hideously bad, seemingly using special effects techniques from 1962 to make a man appear as a giant. It all tells the back-story about a fallen angel that came to Earth to mate with a human women, in the process creating the giant that causes all these problems in the present day.

It takes forever to get to the good stuff, which is of course the giant mummy rampage. It plays out like a low budget version of a summer popcorn flick, complete with the wisecracking sidekick and cheap one-liners. It's all so stupid, yet so entertaining. The special effects are way above average; the giant mummy is actually pulled off in a way that it almost seems believable... almost.

Getting to that point is going to require some patience. You'll tolerate most of the performances, including Tom Bosley as a likeable Rabbi and Casper Van Dien as the lead. Unfortunately, even with some bible connections and a few jokes strewn around, it's just not much fun until the last 20-minutes or so. While it does make up for a lot of lost ground with the finale, it's tough to forget the fact that you've just sat through 70-minutes of uselessness. Not even the epic-like music (likely culled from other sources) can dilute your thoughts.

The Fallen Ones isn't a great movie, but on the Sci-Fi Channel scale, it fares pretty well for itself. It may even be one of their best. It's a little unique and a little clichéd at the same time, but don't let that take you out of it. It's well worth fast forwarding through it you have to, though the payoff seems better if you make it all the way through.

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