Goldeneye: Rogue Agent DS Review

It just should not be possible for a game to do this much wrong. First person shooters have officially been sent backwards five years by Goldeneye: Rogue Agent. This abysmal title barely even covers first-person shooter basics, while adding the most aggravating, annoying, and repetitive soundtracks in recent memory.

Players take control of the opposite side of the Bond universe, siding with villains from the long-standing series after being dismissed from MI6. They'll control two weapons at once for the most part (except for the few weapons that require both hands). A clunky weapon switching system either requires the touch screen or out of reach select button. It's aggravating to switch weapons when in need, only to be blasted while trying to figure it all out.

That's really not a problem with some of the most hilarious AI ever implemented into a FPS. Enemies don't have the common sense to raise their guns an inch to fire over a table (which they'll rarely use for cover) before they fire and entire clip into it. Then they stand still, reload, and repeat the entire process. The ones that do find a way to aim properly do so with brain damage, blindly running into the player while firing, only to stop point blank to reload.

There's no real strategy involved in playing since hit detection is completely random. A clear headshot is never a truly clear headshot. Each gun has an inconsistent range. It's frustrating enough to kill this title after the first stage. Multi-player does manage to be somewhat enjoyable, though it suffers from every flaw the main game does (except for AI obviously).

Level design was obviously an after thought too. Enemy ambushes are obvious and predictable. Ladders are automatically ascended, giving the players no chance to defend themselves. You'll take a few shots before the game allows you to set up after the climb. It's welcome that there's no need to fight with a control sequence to do this, but you'd take less hits if they let you perform the action yourself.

Fog is an issue in certain stages, obscuring enemies as they do their cheap maneuvering and other hazards. Enemy fire will appear on screen before the shooter, a considerable problem for which there is no defense. Objects are well constructed, though pixilated. The opposing force is barely varied, and they share the same animation set between them.

Gunfire is the best thing the game provides audio-wise, and even that lacks impact. The music is hideous, made up of cheap bleeps that would barely be home on the NES, let alone the otherwise surprisingly capable DS sound hardware. Stages tend to drag on, due to both length and lack of entertainment value, while this soundtrack maddeningly loops non-stop. Turning it off only creates a sparse, lifeless environment.

Even with all the control scheme options and weapons, EA has published an incompetent shooter that borrows heavily from the home console versions, while eliminating anything that made that version fun (and that version wasn't very fun). It's ugly, it sounds bad, and it offers nothing worth noting as far as gameplay is concerned. It's fine for a few laughs between friends as an overnight rental, but certainly not worth purchasing.

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