Sci-Fi Channel Original Cerberus Review

Given that the Sci-Fi Channel has dug up just about every creature known to the human race for their Saturday night features including (but not limited to) pythons, centipedes, gargoyles, dragons, raptors, pterodactyls, killer bees, snakehead fish, megalodons, the chupacabra, loch ness, spiders, saber tooth cats, and cockroaches, it was only a matter of time until the network began to reach. This brings us to Cerberus, a creature flick that could only come from this cable channel. This is unbearable dreck, one of the cheapest, ugliest, and far reaching of their monster roster.

Revolving mostly around Attila the Hun's burial site, this is a movie far more concerned with his sword than the title menace. It's probably for the best given the impossibly bad CG used to create it (and an even worse shot of a hand controlled puppet). The story has no point other than to kill time that would have been better spent on the monster.

There are few moments worth discussing, the generally over the top and enjoyable gore absent from this one. Director John Terlesky pulls a Clint Eastwood, writing, directing, and acting. Unfortunately, he's not Clint Eastwood and this isn't Million Dollar Baby. The bright spot on the cast is Emmanuelle Vaugier, left with little to do other than stand around and provide information on the legend.

Logic lapses are obvious as the entrance to the tomb of Attila is easily accessible. The crew has little trouble descending into the site, and opening it isn't an issue. Since the movie spends a good hour building this up, it's a bit odd that the process is made to look so easy.

Utterly forgettable, Cerberus just falls flat early and never recovers. It's impossible to enjoy and as such, it fails miserably as entertainment too. Skip this one for your own benefit.

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