Breaking Windows

If there's a system no one thought would see a fully 3-D Splinter Cell title, it's the N-Gage. Chaos Theory is a miraculously accurate translation of the same console title, and the control scheme becomes a highlight. Nothing here except for the graphics and sound has been stripped down. It's a more than admirable port, though the frame rate may be enough to turn off players more accustomed to the steadiness of the home versions.

Bringing with it a new breed of awfulness, A*P*E is a classic example of a knock-off film. It doesn't seem to know what it wants to be, and since it's so pathetic it should be straight camp. At times, it acknowledges this, and other points, it's all played straight. It doesn't matter how the audience takes it as A*P*E is unquestionably awful and possibly the most grating giant monkey "epic" we'll ever see.

A video game that is beyond unnecessary, WWE Aftershock stands as the only pro wrestling title on the N-Gage. The problem is that the N-Gage didn't have a need for a wrestling game. The plain, dull Aftershock proves why.

They've ravaged London. Tokyo is no more. Korea is off the map. New York's landmarks underwent unscheduled demolition. Where's a giant monkey to go anymore? How's Hong Kong sound? That's the new playfield for Mighty Peking Man, a 1977 Kong knock-off and re-released with Quentin Tarantino's stamp of approval from his Rolling Thunder studio.

If you're reading this a few minutes after I posted it, you probably need more of a life than I do. If you're reading it with a hangover, that means you likely didn't spend the first morning of 2006 playing your N-Gage. That's a good thing.

Happy New Year!

Colin McRae Rally 2005 may look dated on the N-Gage hardware, but playing it reveals a rally racing game as deep as anything on the home consoles. This is a meticulously detailed representation of a rough sport, and even without an analog stick, the precise controls necessary are included. Unless you don't enjoy the style of racing, there's no reason for this title not to find a spot in your portable gaming collection.

Tis the season for deals on electronics fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

On the 30th I was at Wal*Mart and Jim got a Toshiba M45-S2692 for $996.00. They have the same deal online as well. It is a 15.4" widescreen laptop with 1.73 GHz Intel Centrino processor. What a deal!

Today at Best Buy I found a Toshiba M55-S3293 for $999.99 that has a slightly faster processor, double the RAM but a smaller (not wide) screen as the M45-S2692.

Both have great specs for a $1000 notebook.

After being delayed 238 times (OK, more like five times) Dead or Alive 4 is finally on store shelves. I found my copy at a Wal*Mart and snagged it before they were all gone. And they were gone in a hurry. It makes you wonder how much better the Xbox 360 launch would have been if DOA4 was there with it.

I have not had much time to play, as I am still home at my grandmother's house. It still looks like DOA with a very familiar shell. The graphics have not really changed since DOA2 on the Dreamcast, and the re-release on the PS2.

Sloppily trying to become a new Mario Party, this Majesco produced mess doesn't do anything for Game Boy Advance owners. The poor kids who are stuck with Cartoon Network Block Party as a gift from an unknowing parent are the ones who suffer. Majesco makes the cash either way, and it's obvious that's the only concern with a title produced like this.

Did you know that GMail will map any address using Google Maps? Any address in a GMail email will be listed in the right-hand column ready to be clicked. I don't know when they added this, but like every other new addition to GMail, it rocks.

There is only one problem with this feature: it does not work on the Mac. It is Windows only. I have no idea why. Cool feature though.

Team 17's Worms series is one of the best in the history of the industry. In the realm of easy to pick up turn-based strategy titles, there is no comparison. It's brilliant by game design standards, and on the N-Gage, none of that changes.

If the N-Gage wasn't created fast-paced action titles in mind, that's not a problem since there are games like Pathway to Glory. While the last thing gamer's need is another World War II title, Glory earns the right to co-exist in a crowded market with unique turn based gameplay. It's not intricately detailed, but accessible and easy to understand quickly.

I recently wrote about my iPod shuffle falling apart. I called Apple Tech today and they sent me to this page. Just like with their PowerBook repair boxes I have so many times used, Apple will send you a box for your shuffle. Mine is broke so it will be replaced. But it will only take a couple days.

How nice. I should have called sooner.

Of course the flippin' site will not recognize my serial number (in Safari or Firefox) that I am grabbing out of System Profiler. Grr. Skip that one, it wants a different Serial Number! It wants the other one, duh!

THE WHOS down in Who-ville

Were a tolerant lot:

Who Christians, Who Muslims — a Who melting pot.

Who Hindus! Who atheists! Who Buddhists, Who Jews!

Who Confucians, Who pagans,

And even Who Druze! The Who 1st Amendment's Establishment Clause

Said, "No creches in courts," and the Whos loved their laws.

This should have been posted before Christmas this year, but it is still as relevant now - and as funny. The entire column is written like a Dr. Seuss book.

This needs to be built into the Xbox 360 Dashboard somewhere. Sometimes navigating the Marketplace I just feel like screaming. Oh well, we can all just check out this RSS feed via FeedBurner.com to see all the latest goodies.

The site boast to be the "one stop shop" for all of XBox 360's gaming achievements. Sounds nice. But the site is not much right now. So far it just lists the achievements and the associated Gamerscore, plus it has the achievement icons for your viewing pleasure. The site forums seem more useful then the site itself at this point, but I would keep a watch nonetheless.

Whoever decided to add Achievements to Xbox 360 games is a genius. They add even more replay value. It was just a matter of time before a site like this popped up. Although I am sure GameFAQs will have Achievement FAQs up shortly, unless they already do.

This is some impressive Flash work. You get to see Ryu vs. Scorpion battle to the death. Great fun. There is also an interview with the guy who painstakingly animated all this stuff.

Dad sent me this, a funny Flash video of a commercial used to promote watching the Pro Tour on your cell phone.

A friend of mine, who will remain anonymous, just sold her PowerBook G4 (circa January 2001) for $180. For only $180? Lets back up a few years.

We both bought our PowerBooks at the same time. I remember recommending the spec for her 400 Mhz PowerBook while I got the 500 Mhz model. It wasn't long after she got the PowerBook that someone decided to (accidently) put there elbow or arm down on top of the closed PowerBook breaking the LCD screen.

It is amazing how much Apple charges to fix the screen, even if you spend the money on AppleCare. Long story short: she never fixed the screen and hooked the PowerBook up to a VGA monitor for its entire life.

I am quite impressed that her 'Book is still working. Mine didn't last near as long.

But $180? That is just too funny... for me. That is one heck of an expensive keyboard you just sold.

Guns. Grenades. Armored vehicles. You. And enemies. Lots of enemies. Sounds fun if you're the sort that enjoys blowing crap up. In fact, you would think that any old-school Contra fan would be in guns-blazing bliss. Unfortunately, Metal Slug 4/5 does not live up to its promise.

This goes in the Funny category only because there is no Crazy-bitch-funny-as-hell slot. The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny is like every action movie and TV show and comic character ever, from Godzilla to the Blue Meanie, duking it out in one righteous slugfest with an insanely catchy theme song. Bonus points if you can name every character in it.

Rather oddly, the video game version of Peter Jackson’s $200 million dollar remake of King Kong is barely anything like the movie. The only thing it has in common is a giant ape that ends up in New York and climbs a building. Everything in each major hardware change is played out different, and depending on what system you’re playing it on, even the games themselves vary greatly.

Thirty hovercars? Check. Armor? Check. Boosts? Check. Insane loopy levels that whip by with enough speed to shoot up an NFL team? Check.

Sounds like an F-Zero game. Must be. Welcome to F-Zero GX.

Taking the gameplay from the home versions, X-Men Legends becomes a solid conversion for the N-Gage. With the great interface, it has the makings of a superb title. Sadly, combat is dull, aggravating, and not particularly fun. It's the only thing holding back this semi-RPG/semi-action title.

The Fight Night Round 3 demo can be summed up in one word: amazing. Well two, if you put the F word in there. This demo is truly stunning. I have not had this much fun in a boxing game since the NES's Punch Out.

Paprocki tells me it corrupts Xbox user profiles though, and that does not sound good. Though I see no such report other then one on DP.

I am totally floored that something this good looking and refined is coming from EA. Especially seeing how their other 360 sports "ports" came together for the 360 launch.

Developed by EA Chicago, (Def Jam series) Fight Night Round 3 looks to be a win for next-gen graphics. Not only that, but the controls feel great and the commentary is very good.

Not to sound like a PR guy, but go download the demo and try it out!

Something Awful is running another Photoshop-fest, this time spoofing games and movies. Jordan found this but was too lazy to post it. Credit goes to him though. My favorites?

Final Fight, staring Guy and Cody (Fight Club)
Katamari Damacry: Roll Up The Machines (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines)
Requiem For A Dreamcast (Requiem For A Dream)
Full Metal Gear Solid (Full Metal Jacket)

Directly porting the Game Boy Advance title King of Fighters EX 2: Howling Blood, Hudson has taken a great game and nearly ruined it on the N-Gage. The benefits over Nintendo's handheld are wonderful, including wireless multi-player and plenty of buttons. Sadly, it runs at barely half the speed, and for veterans of this series (anyone who would even give this a second look), that's unacceptable.

Even if it's missing features, has a terrible frame rate, and doesn't end up online, the basic golf mechanics of EA's golf franchise always make an enjoyable outing. The single N-Gage Tiger Woods entry (and only golf game for that matter) is a success. It has trouble in the area of features, and that because this is a port of a Game Boy Advance title from the same year.

It's easy to make the argument that graphics do not make a game great. However, it's games like SSX Out of Bounds that show how they can make a game terrible. The technical limitations destroy every ounce of Out of Bound's playability, and everything else shoved onto the tiny game card is for naught.

Wow this looks like a winner. If you think you recognize Kasumi it's because you do, she is Devon Aoki (Sin City). The movie doesn't really have anyone else famous in it. But then who wants to be in a movie about a video game notorious for its bouncing boobies.

Blast ‘em! Use Swords! Avoid Fire! Power Up!

So says the back cover of the latest shooter on the Gamecube, Chaos Field. Appropriately enough, those four imperatives seem to sum up the game quite well. Except for the power up part as there are no power ups in the game…

Though it's not quite Broadway, the below reenactment of the NES and arcade classic, Punch Out, is pretty darn good. The music is especially catchy, and the moves are disturbingly accurate. You know you're a gamer when all of this makes sense.

Very well done. Check it out.

Another port from a Game Boy Advance game, N-Gage players will find Sonic N familiar. It's a direct translation of Sonic Advance, a fantastic 2-D title in the series. Any flaws here are due to the hardware, and in this case, it's nearly enough to ruin the playability.

If Caved In is any indication of the garbage Sci-Fi Channel will be pushing onto its fans this year, it's going to be a long one. Copying last years disaster Centipede, Caved In gives the world another meaningless giant insect flick, with zero redeeming value. If you're looking for entertainment, you're watching the wrong network on Saturday night.

Five days ago I filled out a form for a replacement iPod shuffle. Three days ago I received my new iPod shuffle, free of charge. Although I must say I am glad I was home when it was delivered.

It arrived via DHL, who are really fast, but they never nock. It had rained and the cement step outside my apartment was still wet. Though my iPod was sitting in a very not-waterproof envelope damp when I got it. You see I had to check the DHL web page to see that my package was even delivered.

It is a very good thing it didn't rain that day, as we have been getting a lot of rain lately. Which incidentally in Ohio means we will have winter until June or July.

Lets just hope that this one does not fall apart on me. I will be more careful this time. I will not *gasp* carry it around in my pocket every day.

While defending my position on the capitalization of words such as Internet, Web, and Net, I found this great resource. The site has some great info on it, and most is found on this page - such as their Cyberwords Style page.

Everything according to C|Net that is. It has a lot of great information. This was written a few years ago but is mostly relevant. The TV aspect-ratio converter is a great tool. This lets you see how big a 4:3 picture would look on a 16:9 display, and vice versa.

He really does. So much so he had to put together a rather detailed eight point rant about it. And I would have to agree with everything he said, including commenter #1. My biggest peeve is the fact that there has to be a long animation before the DVD menu shows up, with no way to skip it.

Back in July 2005 I wrote about wanting the Optimus Keyboard. By the looks of things, it will be coming February 1, 2006. I can't wait.

This one is on my Birthday Wish List, hint, hint.

Written, directed, and starring Jon Favreau, Made is a subtly funny mob movie. While Favreau may have taken the workload, it's Vince Vaughn that steals this one. Another actor couldn't have handled his energetic, relentless, and even sometimes annoying chatter better if they tried.

Looking down the limp lineup of Game Boy Advance games for this year, it seems hard-pressed the system will last yet another year - at best Nintendo will be able to squeeze one more GBA holiday shopping season into the mix. Since 2001 Nintendo has shoveled over countless Super Nintendo ports to the system and now almost five years later it seems the company is scratching at the bottom of the well.

One of the many changes that has taken place in the telephone industry in the last few decades is that while phone companies once generally provided their local customers with free directory assistance (via the 411 phone number), in most cases telephone customers are now charged a fee (typically $1.00 or more) for each directory assistance call. Despite the charges, U.S. consumers continue to avail themselves of the 411 directory assistance service, placing about 6 billion such calls per year.

Now, however, an outfit called Jingle Networks is providing an alternative directory assistance service — and it's free. Users who call the toll-free number 1-800-FREE411 (or 1-800-373-3411) can navigate a nifty automated voice recognition system that asks for a location (city and state), type of listing (business, government, or residential), and name.

Thanks to Jake for this great tip. I know for a fact that Verizon Wireless charges and arm and a leg for calling 411. I cringe every time I need to use it, but not any more! This number is now permanently in my cell phone.

The voice recognition system was superb in my testing. I did not hear an advertisement (how Free 411 is paid for) on every single call. I am very impressed.

The effective set up of Godsend is welcome. There are a few different directions it could go, and sadly, the one it takes is not the correct one. When the ending finally hits, you’re left wondering why you even bothered.

I hate the videogame press. There, I've said it - after you don't know how many false starts trying to weave that statement into a cleverly constructed sentence, I've just said it outright - I hate (...the majority of...) the videogame press.

He has some valid points. A good read.

#1: 'Tard Pack - $299.99 for an Xbox 360 with no wireless controllers, no hard drive, no backwards compatability, and naturally, no downloadable content. So you save a hundred bucks. Except you'll need to spend forty of that on a memory unit, anyway. But hey, you can still afford one more 360 game. The only announcement more WTF worthy will be if someone knowingly buys it.

Yes even Jack Thompson made the list, and the #2 reason about Shadow the Hedgehog is priceless. But the "'Tard Pack" does take the cake.

Every year, the New Oxford American Dictionary people hand out an award for "Word of the Year." It's usually given to the word that has the most amount of hype attached to it, but it's a rite of great distinction for the word. This past year's Word of the Year is podcast. That's a given, right? "Sudoku," "bird flu" and "reggaeton" didn't stand a chance.

Yea, that is an odd opening to a technical article on creating your own podcast, but it is what it is.

"Book Club" author's best-selling nonfiction memoir filled with fabrications, falsehoods, other fakery, TSG probe finds

Oprah Winfrey's been had.

Three months ago, in what the talk show host termed a "radical departure," Winfrey announced that "A Million Little Pieces," author James Frey's nonfiction memoir of his vomit-caked years as an alcoholic, drug addict, and criminal, was her latest selection for the world's most powerful book club.

I am posting this for my Step Mom Melodye. She watches Oprah and I am sure she has read this book by now. It is still #1 on Amazon.com as it is. And this news will sell even more copies! Oddly enough, he was first shopping it around as fiction - though no one would publish that.

Blogcritics also has an opinion piece on the mess.

Vince McMahon's WWE Raw has pulled some classic stunts over the twelve years I've religiously watched it, but tonight, well, this one is probably going to end up everywhere.

During a hilarious and stupid "live sex" act, WWE Diva Lita's breast made it on screen for a whopping split-second fully exposed. They immediately cut to a blank screen and used the classic "It's live TV" excuse. Surely one of the "parent groups" will be all over this explaining how it's destroyed our country and the children are traumatized. They'll also tell you how offended you were even if you didn't watch it. Don't call me psychic, I just know those groups are beyond stupid. So, we'll get it out of the way now:

IT'S A NIPPLE PEOPLE. Grow the hell up. Thank you.

Read Matt's full article over at Blogcritics.

I'll also add that this made it to Fark, and as I make this edit, it's broke the 60,000 hits barrier.

Someone on Digital Press reported they had the same problem about a week ago, but we all thought it had something to do with the Fight Night demo. Not so as Gamespot is reporting.

From their site:

While the first single, ONE LOVE from the band's album LOOKING FOR LUCKY, remains in the Top 10 at Mainstream AC, GET OUT OF MY MIND, will ship this week and will go for adds at HOT AC January 30th, 2006.

If you want a peak of my fave from the new album, Yahoo's annoying site has the video, which was recorded LIVE. I had to use Netscape of all things to view it, but it was worth it.

The Macworld Keynote every year is like an extra holiday to Mac fans. Others just don't seem to understand. Steve Jobs stands in front of us, in his mock turtleneck and jeans, and preaches about the current and future Mac plans. This is an event that even the naysayers pay attention to.

The biggest news of the day was the new PowerBook, now known as the MacBook Pro. The MacBook Pro features include a built-in iSight camera, IR Sensor, Apple Remote, ATI Radeon x1600 video processor, and a new, innovative magnetic power plug. All the normal I/O ports are included, with the exception of Firewire 800. I am not exactly sure why it was omitted.

Wow. I was just looking through the December 2005 site statistics. There is a lot that will not be said in this post, because I do not need this post turning up as #1 for bandwidth on said subjects. What I will say, and gets a wow times five, is the #1 day for traffic in December. Take a guess. Breaking Windows hovers around 2000 unique visits a day. I am very happy with that, as my pocketbook is also very happy with that. December 25th saw 3,402 unique eye balls, 9,827 pages, 24,278 hits and used up 312.91 MB of bandwidth - all on Christmas! Hello? That gets a WTF award for sure.

Is that a social commentary on America? I think it is.

What the hell are all you people doing at my blog on Christmas day? Even I, one of the most connected-via-T1-to-Internet people I know was not on the computer on Christmas for more then 10 minutes, and I was not even reading blogs - I was deleting SPAM!

In other news: Top 5 keywords searched -- "PSP," "iPod," "Windows," with "WEP," "error," and "Mac" rounding out the list. Nevermind this is a decidedly Mac-friendly, dare I say evangelistic, site. But I understand, I do not have as much time to write about the Mac as I would like.

But that many unique visits on Christmas Day?

*shakes head*

Now here is a piece of Flash that is useful. It is actually very cool, falling under the "Interactive Art" moniker if it were at, say, SIGGRAPH. You type in some song lyrics and it spits them out, word by word, using famous singers voices. It is all very cool until you get "I" in there a few times. It appears that the algorithm does not have multiple instances of the same word - a major bummer. Words not in the database are also a show stopper. But you can submit songs that have those show-stopping words in them.

What a great project! The artist is Erik Bünger.

From the site:

Write your own lyrics and let some of the world's greatest stars give voice to it.

...What it also offered, but didn't bother to disclose, was the addition of a bit of spyware to the iTunes interface. As reported on boingboing and other sites, the new iTunes mini store, which appears directly below the song list area in the main iTunes window, spies on your listening habits.

You will also notice on Hints that Rob has been told that Apple (by Apple) is not mining any data from you. Which is good. But thanks Apple for putting that "feature" in the update note!

You disable the mini store by just collapsing it. But I find it a cool feature. Even if it has Big Brother written all over it.