Superbad Screening Security

Superbad is one of the funniest movies of the year.

What's not funny are the "security measures" taken by the studio to prevent piracy at an early screening I just got back from. You can't enter with a cell phone that has a camera of any kind. You need to hand it over to an employee who seals it in a bag, and you're then given a ticket with a number (think county fair or arcade redemptions) indicating which is yours. Lose the ticket, and I don't know what the hell you do.

That's hardly the worst of it. After taking my phone, you're then scanned by metal detectors. Before the movie started, I made a bathroom run. Before I could re-enter, I had to be re-scanned. What, would I pull a camera out of my ass in the bathroom when they weren't watching?

One of the managers came into the theater to thank everyone for coming, reading from a studio note. Unbelievably, he actually read off a list of things not to do with your cell phone, such as take pictures or talk during the movie. Yeah, that drew a huge laugh and some smart ass sarcastic remarks from the crowd.

During the movie, security constantly walked down the aisles, looking for any sign of recording equipment. In the biggest irony of the whole thing, an usher had a handheld camera, taping the crowd to capture their reactions for what will likely be used in a trailer. He must have avoided being one step away from an anal cavity search before entering.

After the movie, it's phone pick up time. A guy is yelling over countless tech obsessed people running over to the cell phone table to get in line. What line that was seemed to melt in the mass of ridiculously panicky teenagers who need their texting fix. Oh, but don't worry. The two Toledo Police officers standing guard kept things in order, and finally we had a visible line. 15 minutes later, my phone is recovered and we can go home.

Way to make a fun movie an utter pain in the ass Columbia.

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